When it comes to finding a date while sober, it can be hard to find other like-minded sober singles who are looking to have a good time out on the town.
We see drinking nearly everywhere we go. It is in how our friends talk about dating and it is present on every popular dating app. Drinking while going on a date seems normal, but it doesn’t have to be how you approach dating. When you are in recovery, the chance to stay away from drinking and dating feels like an unreachable goal at times, but it isn’t impossible.
While it feels like a cultural norm to find a date and go to a crowded bar, there are a few ways to find a potential match where you don’t have to compromise your recovery.
Check out our 9 ways to find a date when you are sober for a new way of finding love in the real world.
Dating During The Corona Virus
The Corona Virus has made dating challenging especially those living in sobriety. This has affected and shifted every routine we rely on. Americans have been asked to stay home and practice social distancing across the country. As a result, sobriety apps as a collective are seeing a serious spike in usage during this outbreak.
Communication has been thriving which has produced better quality connections. Dating from home, or more commonly called “digital dating”, has become popular again in this new world of isolation.
Currently, sober dating platforms are focused on actively encouraging mental health awareness and promoting connectivity in these times of uncertainty and lonliness.
People are excited that dates have gone from frequency to quality when it comes to a sober dating app.
- Join An Organization Or Club
Are there local organizations that you follow on social media, but haven’t connected with personally?
There are many social groups, organizations, and clubs in every community who are looking for more people to be a part of their membership. Look if those organizations or clubs are running any online events or networking opportunities for you to talk with people who are already in the same city as you.
Many community centerboards, online groups and forums, as well as libraries often post more information about upcoming opportunities.
From participating in a co-op for a local community garden or connecting with an online book or writing club, there are a few great ways to discover sober dating by meeting people doing something you enjoy.
- Volunteer For A Cause You Care About
Is there a cause you are passionate about, but you have not had the chance to help out before?
Consider it your ticket to connecting with sober people just like you who are compassionate towards helping out a great cause. There are always open volunteer positions and organizations looking for someone to consistently show up and help out.
By volunteering, you are able to learn the compassion that a person may hold for a cause close to their heart. It is a great way to get to know someone and learn how they treat those around them.
When looking for potential places to volunteer, check out your local community center, or find resources by connecting to the local community through a sobriety app.
- Ask Your Friends
Asking your friends is a screening process in itself. Your close friends already know you are living a sober lifestyle, which gives them the ability to share that with a potential future date for you.
By asking those you care about to see if someone they know is interested in sober dating, it helps you feel more at ease during the process of dating knowing you won’t be pressured to drink.
With the person already being aware beforehand why you do not drink, you’re able to have the freedom of going on a date without the worry of drinking expectations.
- Join A Local Sports Team
Many communities offer intermural sport for all ages. If you played tennis, basketball, baseball, soccer, or even football, there are plenty of teams who are looking for players like you.
Joining a team helps strengthen the connection with individuals towards a common goal. Ultimately, it develops a bond over time as you win (or lose) games, share stories during practice, and meet other teams from different communities and cities.
Check out your local community or recreation center to see what teams are looking for new players! You just might meet your future date while out playing a sport you already love.
- Attend A Rehab Event
Many rehab centers offer alumni events for people to connect with others who are continuing a sober lifestyle. AA dating can feel uncertain at times when someone is in recovery, but it may open up the opportunity to connect with someone who has had a similar experience with drinking as you.
They know the ups and downs of recovery, as well as the pressure to drink on a date just as well as you do. By understanding one another’s road to recovery before a date, you both can enjoy each other’s company through a different way of dating. Without the expectation of a late-night out with drinks, you can experience a date just as you are.
- Attend Health and Wellness Events or Classes
In today’s landscape of looking healthy, there’s a movement where being healthy from a mental and physical standpoint is on the rise. Sober singles are ditching the alcohol, in favor of living a life in clarity, has taken off. Before COVID-19 there was a resurgence in eliminating alcohol in favor of keeping good health. This has led to the growth in industries like Yoga classes, meditation classes and micro gyms popping up everywhere.
As our country begins to open again and there’s confidence in our social settings again, the new hot spots for sober singles will be where others participate in health and wellness activities.
With this movement gaining more and more popularity, there’s unique sober events serving up great sober experiences that allow people to meet and have fun without alcohol. Here’s 2 that are putting hyper fun in sobriety:
As they describe themselves, Daybreaker is a morning dance party that will start your day with energy and intention. Their community has over 500,000 members in 28 cities around the world.
A sober social movement focused drinking less alcohol or kicking it all together. Their community is largely made up of the sober curious crowd – who don’t depend on alcohol to have a good time. Club Soda (soda is an acronym for Sober or Debating Abstinence) was founded by Ruby Warrington and Biet Simkin.
- Sign Up For A Class You’re Interested In
It might feel daunting at first to attend a class by yourself or even conjure up the attempt to convince a friend to join. Yet, it is a great way to meet people who are interested in the same things you are.
Many community and cultural centers offer public classes for you to try something you’ve always wanted to. Classes range from beginner to advanced learning that can help you pick up where you left off for a skill, or to try something completely new.
From learning how to create beautiful ceramics, to cooking a new cuisine, or trying out a new style of dance that you always wanted to, there is a world of possibility for AA dating when you have a common interest.
The best way to meet someone when you are sober is by simply doing something that brings you joy and helps you be yourself.
- Download a Sober Dating App
While Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, and Hinge are the more widely used dating apps, there are sober dating apps that exist for you to find singles who are looking for a different way to hang out and get to know one another.
Try out our dating feature on Loosid, or check out another sobriety app like Love In Recovery. By connecting with other sober singles, it helps you find that perfect someone who is interested in knowing you beyond the regular experience of dating.
When connecting with potential dates on a sober dating app, suggest a favorite coffee shop, local park, or museum to visit as a way to share experience and get to know one another.
Sober Dating Is Always An Option
If you’re feeling pressure to go out and drink on a date, you always have the option to reframe how you want to date. Choose to connect with singles in the real world and find potential dates who respect your choices, and like you for who you are.
Remember, you get to set your own rules and boundaries that keep you safe in your sober lifestyle. Whoever you decide to date should always respect that choice and be open to your recovery process.
Whether you find love through a sober dating app, meet-cute in a coffee shop, playing soccer with a dynamic local team, or at a community class learning to paint, there are plenty of ways to meet like-minded people that want to experience life beyond drinking, just like you.